Thursday, February 7, 2013

Safe Place...

The first few days of this month I want to focus on our marriages - specifically, our husbands.  Ladies, we all know what WE need - we need help in the kitchen, help with the laundry, help with the errands, five minutes of peace and quiet, etc, etc.  We know what our needs are.  

Over the past few weeks I've spent a lot of time talking with the men around me, neighbors, co-workers, family...asking "What do you need most from your wife?"  The answers have been absolutely astounding.

I want to share with you one of the profound answers given to me.  When asked, "What do you need most from your wife?," one gentleman said to me, "I can't think of anything else I need from my wife, but for her to understand."  

Wait! "You want her to be understanding?" 

"No.  I want her to understand."   

"What do you mean?"

"I want her to understand that I am not perfect.  I want her to understand that I'm bombarded at work all day, too.  I want her to understand that I'm tired at the end of the day, that I have a million things on my mind, and I have problems that I can't solve."

Wow!  I hear you.  Ladies, how many of us wait all day for our husbands to walk in the door only to unload the kids, tell them of our horrific day, tell them about the broken washer and the leaky faucet?  We tell them about the argument we had with the neighbor, how the dog barfed on the carpet, and about the conference now scheduled with the school principle because Freddy put gum in Jenny Brown's hair at recess!  I mean, talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire!  

Another guy put it this way, "Provide recovery time.  Give us the space to unwind and decompress before presenting the new host of problems that need to be addressed at home."  Well said, sir! 

Ladies here's your take away!  This one is simple and important!  Don't forget it! 
1)  Greet your husband at the door (if possible) when he gets home from work...with a hug and a smile.  Tell him you're glad he's home or "welcome home."
2)  Make home his safe place!  So often we depend on our husbands to keep us safe...but they need a safe place, too.  Provide that for him.  Whatever his "safe place" looks like, provide that for him. 
3) Let him know the first few minutes are his... he can talk about his day, or leave it at the door.  He can wrestle with the kids or take a quick shower to wash away the stress.  

Make him feel welcome.  Make him feel safe.  Then, when he's ready, ask to share your day...together!

Only By His Grace,

Billie

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